PART 8 WHY MARRIAGES FAIL

TEXT- SONG OF SOLOMON 5:2-7

INTRODUCTION

Tonight I am going to continue with my series of messages on the topic, "How To Have A Magnificent Marriage."

Out text is found in Song of Solomon 5:2-7 and the title of my message is, "Why Marriages Fail."

Here in this passage we find that very early on in their marriage Solomon and Abishag began to experience problems in the area of their sexual relationship.

These verses show us that sexual adjustment after marriage is not automatic. Too often newly married couples think they are simply going to fall into bed and immediately experience a beautiful sexual relationship. One study reveals that marriage failures due to sexual problems could be as high as 75 to 80 percent. On an average it takes six years for a husband and wife to adjust to each other.

One husband wrote this letter to his wife explaining his sexual frustrations to her. He said:

To My Loving Wife: During the past year I have tried to make love to you 365 times. I have succeeded only 36 times; this is an average of once ever 10 days. The following is a list of why I did not succeed more often.

It will wake the children 27 times
It's too late 23 times
It's too hot 16 times
It's too cold 5 times
It's too early 15 times
Pretended to be asleep 46 times
Windows open, neighbors will hear 9 times
Backache 26 times
Toothache 13 times
Headache 26 times
Giggles 6 times
Not in the mood 36 times
Too full 10 times
Baby is crying 17 times
We watched late TV show 17 times
I watched late TV show 15 times
Mud pack 11 times
Company in next room 11 times
You had to go to the bathroom 19 times

During the 36 times I did succeed, the activity was not entirely satisfactory due to the following:

1. Six times you chewed gum during the whole time.
2. Seven times you watched TV the whole time.
3. Sixteen times you told me to hurry up and get it over with.
4. Six times I tried to wake you to tell you we were through.
5. One time I was afraid I had hurt you for I felt you move.

Honey, is it no wonder I am so irritable! Your Loving Husband

Tonight I would like us to look at five common causes of conflict mentioned in our text. These causes could apply not only to marriage, but to any relationship you might have.

(Everyone read) Mark 3:25 A home filled with strife and division destroys itself. (LB)

Here again we find Abishag having a restless dream-filled night. The reason why she tossed throughout the night because her and Solomon were experiencing some marital difficulties. Her recurring dream is a result of their recurring sexual problems. When a husband shows little sexual desire for his wife it is often a barometer of a struggling or dying marriage. When a wife cares nothing for sex with her husband and sees it only as a necessary evil or at best a required duty, the marriage will suffer deeply and problems will occur in other areas that are seemingly unrelated to sex.